We can make it to our sixties and seventies without having witnessed the death of a parent, says Kathryn Mannix, author of the book ‘With The End in Mind’.
In the past, when someone’s life could not be saved, instead of going to hospital they remained at home. Young people saw plenty of deaths and mortality did not take anyone by surprise, she writes in ‘The Telegraph’.
Today, when people do see death, it is often in a hospital setting and occurs while medics are in the process of trying to prevent the death from happening.
Young people do not see death happening in the normal course of their lives because their relatives are not dying until older age. It is a wonderful thing that modern medicine can prevent people dying from reversible conditions in their prime.
Just as we need to know what to expect when we bring a life into this world, we need to know what to expect at the end. Just as every birth is individual, although the process is the same, so it is with death.
We are driven these days to attempt to reverse dying come what may, rather than stand back and ask ourselves: “Is this going to be reversible? And if not, then what is the best way of dealing with that?” Do we surround a person with lights and tubes and machinery as they reach the final hours of their lives? Or do we give them a few more days in a comfy bed, possibly at home, looking out the window at their own daffodils, in a comfortable and familiar setting?
I’ve had messages from strangers confessing they had struggled with horrible memories of deathbeds, at which they did not understand what they’d seen and heard, and had wrongly believed their loved one was in pain. I’ve had letters from parents who’ve lost children, telling me what I’ve written has helped them understand what happened when their child died. And I’ve even had messages from the dying, telling me they are now less frightened of what lies ahead.
Read full report here: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/kathryn-mannix-lost-art-talking-death-must-revive/